Sit Still or Dance?

Usually I am known to dance. Usually I tell people get up and dance in life, get amongst it. Live.

Sometimes though it is important to sit still, and perhaps let everyone, everything move around you and allow yourself to focus on the harmonies, the rhythmic progression playing out inside you. The important thing to remember is to break into that solo, step into the spotlight and once again become the melody in your own life.

Just don’t ever stop tapping your foot to the beat. Once the tune is clear in your head, move about like a crazy muppet with felt like arms. Go on wave them about.

Move around, stay around.

Think about it.

"What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies." - Aristotle

How the hell did I get here?

It is so easy in hindsight to determine what we don’t want in life.

I believe that life turns in cycles, we all have to hurt to understand our purpose, we have to laugh to appreciate an experience, we have to feel anger to understand what we want, and find the motivation to achieve happiness, and we have to fear to know that we have inner strength and can conquer these fears to excel.

All these tests add up to become life.

To live is to collect these experiences. Those of us that are wise reduce the amount of hurt, and angry tasks we experience and continue fearlessly to increase and fill our lives with the happy, exciting and alluring moments.

Finding happiness is up to you! Start today my friend.

Natural Character Transference.

This is a phenomenon I noticed and termed a while ago. I was analyzing how underground culture can happen so quickly, yet huge marketing campaigns with millions of dollars behind them can fail miserably.

Think about this on a micro-level though. Our day-to-day dealings with people in our lives.
The more time you spend with someone, the more part of his or her character traits you pick up and the more you off load to them. Some people have this natural ability to transfer more than others, some people choose not to transfer, and some people choose not to accept. It is really up to the individual.

It doesn’t matter how hard you try, you are always going to transfer part of yourself, and accept part of someone else. This is what makes you friends, partners, and family. It may be small things, phrases you integrate into your vocab, the places you go, the food you eat. Little things, big things there is still transference.

The best and yet somewhat worst feeling is when you see ‘next generation transference’. You transferred something to someone; they picked it up, and then transferred it to the next person. Imagine that. Something that is distinctly you is now part of someone else, and someone else, and someone else….

Crazy.

The board.

This Saturday I will be collecting my brand new, all adventure, fast and loose, custom surfboard. The dimensions were discussed with two friends over a beer as we watched the waves roll into Merewether Beach and I think I've found my perfection.

Fingers crossed for barrels on Saturday afternoon. Sun, barrels, thoughts of friends, and the warm pacific.

Bob Dylan is a genius….

Saturday afternoons have become the best time of the week for me. Saturday afternoon is spent with my friends, on my sunny balcony. We look down upon the main street of Glebe, Sydney, Australia and share laughs, tunes, cold beers, fruity vodka punch, fro mage, red wine and each other’s fine conversation.

In the afternoon sun, we theorize about the world, where it is heading. Talk about the finer points of religion, politics, the fine arts, donks, surfboards, listening devices, unions, laying bricks, all matter of wonderful topics.

We agree and disagree on all subjects, heated discussion turns to full debate. Arguments are formulated and presented to the gallery of balcony beer guzzlers with the precision and timing of a well-written presidential speech. Actually, after 6 or 7 beers, a few glasses of punch and a bottle of red this conversation (as you can imagine) is not so coherent.

Let me assure you, on the big question we all agree.
Bob Dylan is a genius, and further correspondence will not be entered into.

Wasting Time.

Lately, I’ve been noticing a lot of people I know waste time. This isn’t such a bad thing. We are living life and in most parts of it we are happy.

The question is, if you knew how much time you had left – Would you still be doing the same thing, or would you strive for something different?

Is what you are doing today, who you are doing it with, where you will be tomorrow - really making you happy?

These aren’t big questions to answer, these aren’t hard questions to answer, don’t over complicate the answer. Don’t say we all need to work, it is a means to an ends, we all need a partner to share life with, he isn’t the best – but he is the next best thing. Just answer the questions honestly and simply as possible.

Write the questions on a piece of paper, and answer them in a different colour.

Am I happy with my life?
Am I happy with whom I’m sharing it?
Am I happy with what my tomorrow holds?

If you answer No to any of the questions, then re-evaluate

What does/would make me happy with life?
Who does/would make me happy with life?
What do I want to do tomorrow, that would make me happy?

This doesn’t have to be about relationships, jobs. It can be about friends, hobbies, and dreams.
If the person who makes you happiest is your best mate Veronica, yet you are spending all your time with your boyfriend James, then perhaps you should think about that. If your passion is surfing but you live 4 hours away from the beach, so you never get there, why not consider moving closer to your passion.

I’m not suggesting you do any of things, only suggesting you at least consider your options, before time runs out.

Change. Don’t fear change.
Don’t just be – be something - be happy.

My Stars.

"Carpenters never have any shelves in their own homes. Bakers' families are forever running out of bread. When you do something all day long for other people, it is hard to then find enough time to do it for yourself. You are in the reassurance business. Wherever you go, whenever you open your mouth, you make other people feel better about themselves. You inspire trust. Yet secretly, inwardly, you now feel nervous. Don't be. Despite your misgivings, it is going to be a fine weekend." J.Cainer

Get Amongst It.

Don’t be afraid to grab hold of life and get amongst it.
Life is good, it is getting better and I can’t wait to get amongst it.

Demons.

What a ride of hell I have been on for the past six months. I think I’ve felt every emotion a person could imagine, seen sides of myself I never expected to see, learnt a whole lot more about myself and it is fantastic…

My demon was to complicate feelings, compound experiences or just make mountains out of molehills. It is all a matter of getting back to basics, simplifying, and streamlining.

Get rid of your demons. Go on you can do it.

Happy.

In today’s society it seems that people need to try to be happy. This amazes me. It seems people are always talking about how hard they have it, how hard things were, how hard things are going to be or how it is a struggle to say something positive.

Honestly people, the only person that can make you happy is you! The reason why you are unhappy today is because of you. Don't try and find your happiness in another person. Don't take from others, what you should be giving away freely. You need to find the good in you, find the warmth in you and then share it around - spread your soulshine.

Don’t settle for unhappy.
Make decisions, change your destination, accept what you can’t change and move mountains to change what you can.

And try smiling.......

What are you going to do now? Dance.

My sister, who is also my best friend, works in one of the most stressful professions around. She works as a Trauma nurse in Accident Emergency. She witnesses things that most people have nightmares about.

The hospital where she works covers some of the scummiest parts of Sydney. Drug addicts, domestic violence, murders…everything most of society attempts to ignore as they go about living. Yet she still has this uncanny ability to make you laugh, look at the positives in life and you just feel good knowing her.

Her motto for living:
Just keep moving. If you’re moving you know you aren’t dead (yet)!

Trust.

Once you break a persons trust, do you ever get it back? Once a person has broken your trust how many chances do you give them to earn it back?

Lately, I have been thinking about this question a lot. How many chances does a person get?

Take for example,
You offer a person you care for, love even the most unselfish gift imaginable. That person takes that gift and does nothing. They break the promise; they lie and then hurt you by pretending like the promise meant nothing anyway.

How many chances does this person deserve?
Just one more?

Choose Life!

I’m guessing most of us have seen Trainspotting and understand the concept of choosing life.

What is choosing life really all about, though?
Good question you ask, unfortunately I don’t have the answer. Understanding your life isn’t something anyone else can explain to you. To me, choosing life is about finding your passion, and living it. Taking a dream, and making it your reality.

And yet.
It is the small choices we make that can really dramatically change our lives. A moment of truth where you pick a distinct path to travel, and once you pick that path all other options are lost. Or are they?

Any choices you regret making, and in hindsight perhaps you would approach differently?

Well make a list.
Do the list, get back what you can, move on from what you can’t. Accept that not everything can be solved, and concentrate on the now.

One Regret.
After 28 years on this earth, I have one regret. It probably doesn't seem such a big regret, however, to me it is something that eats away at me everyday, makes me sleepless, forlorn, a little crazy and empty.

The regret.
Not being able to accept an apology from a dear friend.

Closing a chapter.
So I close this chapter of my life, and beginning living the next.

Thank you Derwent for your continually friendship and the many laughs we shared. I wish you every happiness and hope your destiny involves many adventures and exciting times. I will miss the chats.

The world is calling me. Time to see something new.
Stay well friends,
Pippy.

What is a friend?
We choose our friends, right? Friends aren’t like sisters, brothers or parents – we don’t just have them. Friends are people we relate to, share common goals with & admire.

Or are they?
It astounds me at times how many people are willing to invest valuable time in a friendship that is one-sided, superficial and perhaps even destructive.

It is important to ensure the company we keep is good for us. A friend should bring out the best in you, not the worst. They should make you want to be a better person, and give you a reason to excel.

The role of friend is to not judge, yet give advice. Offer a helping hand, be willing to listen and be strong enough to be honest.

Over time you will become the people you associate with, take a long hard look at your friends now – if you don’t like what you see, move on & find real people.

The price of a real friend - you must be willing to selflessly offer reliance & respect.
Are you ready?

trust

Now when it comes to trust and trusting people I am probably the expert. I think I have broken more trust than anyone else I know. I have lied and told half truths and hidden things from those that love me and those that trust me.

So maybe that is why I look at things now and trust no one. I guess that sounds a bit too much like the xfiles, but it's sad now as that is how I look at life. I go out of my way to avaoid people and don't trust anyone.

Today was spent in a poor mood, you know those days when things just aren't good, everything seems a little tainted. Health affects it so all over you feel down. Now to finish the day poeple tell you things that just don't quite seem right. People say, oh I'm doing this tonight, how bout we catch up, so you say yes and then, they don't contact you and do somethiong completely differently. Hmmm, then other people say one thing, then you catch them at something else. Then suddenly you think it is you. Am I paranoid? Are these people your friends.

Well for now I'm off to find myself. To find out what I'm doing with my life and how to handle people. I think it boils down to no one actually having any friends. A sad thought, but for now, you can all get fucked. This is me for me and only I'm here to make my mark and do what I want to do. I'm going to be selfish now.

I need to learn to trust people and be honest so that I can trust people again.

You suck!
Yes, people like you really shit me. Why does the world owe you someting? huh? What do people owe you? Well? So, common, tell me! What does the world owe you? Well, take a good hard look at yourself because the world owes you zip. That's right. Nothing.

Don't ask what the world can give you...don't want want want all the time. Try giving, it is an awesome experience. Try to give back and not be selfish :-) You might suprise yourself. Do you live your days, wanting something all the time, never happy. Well sucked in my friend, you will jot get what you search because you are a blood sucking scumbag :-P

Ok, ok, a bit harsh I know but really it amazes me how all these people out there can go an being such selfish pricks. Rude, arrogant arseholes who like to think the world owes them something. It doesn't! Get the fuck over it! Get a life, stop whinging, just shut the fuck up and try to help and give.

Derwent out! Over to you now young Pip!

Make a Dream
Dreams are what you make, so find your passion in life, and excel.
Inside of each of us there is a dream. You might not be sure what this dream is at the moment, but let me assure you – one day it will find you.

If you like to run, why not challenge yourself to run a marathon? If you like to surf, why not plan a trip to surf Brazil?

There is no reason why dreams can’t start of as something small. They don’t have to be world changing. A dream just needs to inspire you to challenge yourself, know your own limitations, help you learn more about yourself and open your mind to new experiences.

Why do humans climb Mount Everest? Simply because they can!
What mountain are you going to climb today?

Ever thought that things really can't get much worse...and then they do?

Ever look back, even a few months and think, that was the best time of my life? Then look at your life now and think. It couldn't really get much worse.

Well I have a little hint for you. Don't take things to make you happy. At the end of the day the piper must be paid. When that payment is required, you pay 10 fold.

Radio Silence
muppet signing off, over *crackle*

let go, release, liberate, free, unshackle, unfetter…

Get a life
Do you really want to be needy for the rest of your life? I sure don’t.

There is an entire world available to us out there. A world full of people, buildings, music, culture, food, cars, bridges and birds – so why dwell in a sad existence, believing that your problems are so great you will never find success.

My advice to you, is find your own success. Don’t envy what others have, and don’t steal their happiness either – for you will always have a bitter taste in your mouth.

Success is what you make of it.
Perhaps success to you is a Porsche, a beautiful model girlfriend, a large penis, money or a holiday house in the south of France. Maybe two children, a partner, a lawn and a X-Box.

My success you ask?
To be me. To find people who enjoy me, yet inspire me to be something amazing – without expectation. To never regret. To find a home, and share a life. To hear birds at the change of a season. To never stop learning and find a smile in everybody. To go beyond the cause to help others find their success. To love without fear.

I believe this success is about to happen for me.
Not because of luck, not because I stayed at home and whined about how my inner self was dying, or how unfair-a-life I had been handed, or the struggles I had to go through, or complained of a broken heart. I am destined to find it because, I dusted myself off, I found new hope, a new dream and got busying living.

Wake up people, the day goes on whether you get up or not.

I hate f&*king Skanks
Why do skanks always want the guy you want, and always end up getting him?
Is it because they promise something amazing, they have an alluring aroma, they are excellent in the sack or….?

Telephone Etiquette
Don’t cough, don’t chew, and don’t talk to someone else. These are all things we all practice when engaging in a conversation on the telephone.

I would like to introduce a new one.
Don’t read and reply to email while speaking with someone on the phone, especially if you were the party who initiated the call.

There is nothing more humiliating or rude than being ignored by someone who phoned you.

Sugar coating, fibs and just plain lies…
How many people do you know tell lies, most of us do. A little lie here, a fib there. Does it really matter? In most cases, not really. Most of use a fib or tell a white lie to protect the feelings of friends, loved ones or colleagues, however, in telling lies we fabricate the truth and once started where do we stop.

What if you find yourself lying to the important people in your life? Does it become a problem then? I think it does. Small lies turn into big lies; big lies turn into huge lies and so an avalanche effect occurs until we find it difficult to determine fact from fiction. Okay, that is probably over-exaggeration.

I do believe though, if you begin telling lies to cover up something, you are only digging yourself a hole (which will only get deeper). Once caught out in a lie it is difficult to maintain the trust and respect you have in a relationship/friendship and when the lies get bigger (and more complex), the trust levels get lower and lower.

Once you lose trust, what do you have left? Not much.
You open a whole new door to jealously, suspicion and troubled waters lay ahead. Trust is a hard one to win back. If you have any respect for your friends, lovers and family then you need to consider the bigger picture. Perhaps you should tell John he has bad breath, perhaps you should tell Lisa her thighs do look fat in that skirt…or perhaps you shouldn’t say anything at all.

So before telling your loved one a lie. Think about the consequences and repercussions and think about why you are telling the lie in the first place. Maybe it is time to think about yourself, your friend, your lover. You owe yourself the truth, but more importantly your friend/lover/family deserves the truth.

The truth hurts, yet the truth shall set you free!

A lover becomes a friend

I guess many of us have stated at the end of a relationship, we can still be friends. How many of us actually mean this, and how many people successfully maintain a friendship.

I would say not many.
Most of us would have good intentions, yet a heart can only take so much. Do you really want to see your ex-lover kissing another? Could you really bear to see him smile at another, the way that he once smiled at you? Difficult yes.

There are some people that are worth the heart-twinge. You are connected to this person on a strange level, that most people don’t understand.

As long as it doesn’t become a bizarre act of stalking, then why not allow a lover to become a friend. Just don’t let yourself be hurt, in the process.

Good friends are hard to find.

Tunes and Cheese
Lately I have been sharing my house with many strange and wonderful people. The best part of sharing a house with new people is all the new things you learn.

I must say in the past few weeks, I have heard more music and sampled more cheese than ever before. Which is kind of strange, as I am a huge music and cheese fan – so to say that I have experienced even more is saying ‘something’.

I have come to the conclusion that some tunes and cheese are meant for each other. For example, Richard Ashcroft goes best with a Camembert and a bottle of Shiraz. Whereas, Chemical Brothers fits best with some vintage cheddar and a Cascade Stout…and Kylie still sounds crap.

What’s The Point, Anyway?

A point, people seem to always be searching for a point. The strangest thing is most people miss the point entirely.

You may have the greatest thing that will ever happen, or the greatest feeling you will ever feel – but you miss the point and search for something different.

By not searching for the reason behind this point of greatness, the overwhelming perfect feeling will mean nothing. You will never understand it was the greatest thing you ever had. You must prove this to yourself. Search on my friends.

A continual search for greatness is what provides each person with a good internal feeling, and I encourage everyone to continue searching. Live without fear, and you will succeed.

For me it is time to settle, stop searching and allow the greatness to find me. My heart no longer has the search left in it…so let the universe heal my being and bring me greatness. I have introduced many beginnings to many hearts, and I now need someone to show me a beginning that is meant for me.

I hope to find it in a smile.

Stating the obvious

There have not been many updates to the pnuts website for sometime. Things have been happening whether they be for the good or for the bad will remain to be seen. I still think the pair of nuts are still a pair of nuts.

It is amazing what some people can transfer to other people throughout their friendship or relationship. The thought of natural character transferance. So long as both parties are open to the acceptance then this can occur extremely easily. Everyone is put on the earth for a reason, this reason may just slip by some people, others may search their whole life to find it but never do. It is amazing when you meet people that actually know their purpose, people that love the job they do, people that love themselvse, their life and those around them. These people are the lucky ones. Does luck play a part, it sure as heck does. There is nothing like shaping ones own luck by the things you do, the actions you partake in. Do something good today, do something nice today and you will nortice that something nice will happen to you in return.

Do you know what your future holds? Is it more of the same dreery job. More of the pain you have been suffering. Or is it destined for great things. That great thing being the smile you get from people as you make them coffee in the morning or is it more of the same boring job as you throw the coffee cup to yet another customer.

There are times when we feel down and out and that the world is a bad place filled with torment and hassles. Can it get any better? You know it can and that it does. Think about the time when the sun is shining and the breeze is cool, the trees are green and you swing from the old tyre. Think about a room filled with Muppets who are so excited to be alive.

The universe is a beautiful place, you are a beautiful person. Give to the universe and the universe will give back to you.

Where have all the hippies gone?
The simple answer is: Byron Bay, NSW, Australia.
A nomadic vagrant existence is somewhat enjoyed by the hundreds of soul searchers that flock to the most easterly point in Australia each year. Why, they flock to this area in particular is yet to be discovered. However, at least 4 people I met while staying in Byron Bay over the Easter long weekend, have dedicated their life and $10,000 of a Govt. grant striving to find the answer to this elusive question.

Arguments for why ‘The Bay’ has attracted such a wealth of hippy freaks, range from the magnetic force of the area (the A-line), Koori (Aboriginal) Rituals, volcanic healing powers to the vibrant good karma.

Not being a Maharishi in the powers of ‘The Bay’, I can only rely on the power of observation. I feel it really comes down to one thing. Weed. The smoke is potent, plentiful and cheap. It seems to fall from the heavens as a gift from your (politically correct) higher power and awakens the soul.

It is a little harder than just smoking copious amounts of weed. To be able to fit into this bionetwork of 'The Bay' there is a few simple things you need to ascend to before taking the journey of self awareness and then growth.

Firstly, you must change your name; no matter how good your name is now you must acquire a name that defines you on a spiritual level. Names akin to Amber, Fig, Magic Elf and Nut Berry have replaced the Samantha’s, Steven’s and Elizabeth’s of traditional society naming conventions.

Secondly, you need to respect the environment. However, because you live so far away from anything, you must purchase a crappy old car, with emissions that cause 60% more pollution than a new car.

Thirdly, you must hate McDonalds with a passion. The reasons why are yet to be strictly defined, but it relates to things like exploitation of child labour, lack of nutrients in the food substance and the use of false advertising.

Finally, after publishing your self-improvement book. You must move to India to take the next journey in self-enlightenment.

Once and if you complete these tasks you will find comfort knowing you have improved your quality of life, enriched the planet, mastered yoga and obtained a fairly even all over body tan. All this, while collecting the dole/welfare cheque and living in a semi-holiday existence.

I ask you, what are we all doing at work?

Oh you are such a fibber!

Muppet Me
Yeah right Derwent...I am Kermit!

	You are Kermit! Though you're technically the star, you're pretty mellow and don't mind letting others share the spotlight. You are also something of a dreamer.
Take the What Muppet Are You? Quiz!

Pip is:

	Yuoo ere-a zee Svedeesh Cheff! Yuoo ere-a a guud cuuk, thuoogh yuoo cun't speek Ingleesh fery vell. Bork Bork Bork!
Take the What Muppet Are You? Quiz!

Muppets

So, which muppet are you! Take the test and find out. So Pip, who were you...ahahahaha

My results are here!

	You are Gonzo! You're a bit loopy, and many people have trouble figuring out exactly what you're supposed to be. You take pride in your eccentricity and originality.
Take the What Muppet Are You? Quiz!

Bloggers Block

Good Lord, it has been a long time between drinks. For a number of weeks, both Derwent and I have been fairly irregular with updating this site.

I could make up many excuses about work commitments; social commitments and both would be part of the cause of no posts. In reality though, I believe the problem extends to a phenomena I refer to as ‘bloggers block’.

I’m sure all fellow Bloggers out there understand the concept.
You begin a site you think you are somewhat interesting and you believe that people would love flocking to your site to read about your daily adventures…then you go through the stage where you love to post. Every small detail is posted for the world to read, then it gets a bit tiresome…all your best stories are told, it seems hard work to string a sentence together and then well nothing…You stare blankly at your screen, trying to think of something interesting, funny or even worthy and still nothing…

Ah…Bloggers block.

Freaks out there.....

Ok, Ok we all know tehre are feaks out there on the web that rear their ugly heads, check thsi freak, jealous of everything.....What a freak! I bet she is a stalker also.

2 0 S o m e t h i n g D o l l Ah the unmistakable pang of Jealousy. Always tends to rear its ugly head just when you least expect. It has been plaguing me rather maliciously for weeks now -- I find myself jealous of things I have never found in the least bit desirable before; people's shoes, for example. Or somebody's voice I overhear. Or a job, that I know I would probably be terrible at. Yet I am jealous all the same. It has an unmistakable sting, jealousy, not to be confused with Envy, which is by far more benign, and in general less likely to lead to random acts of violence.

So. How to cure oneself of irrational jealousy.
Option 1: Kill everyone who provokes jealousy
Option 2: Attempt to acquire attributes provoking jealousy
Option 3: Attempt to fool self with hippie theories alluding to jealousy as source of negative energy...

London
What is it with working in the UK? I mean really, the place is expensive, people are rude and smell, the weather is crap and there really is not much to do there except except drink beer and eat pies.

Yet, I have about 5 close friends who are working over there at the moment, or planning on living there for a couple of years. Is it me or just something in the water? why leave such a cool country for such a crap on. I can understand a drug fest holiday around Europe, I can understand wanting to travel, but to call the UK home, this just seems maddness!! Just think when you land, you have to find some really crap accomodation, find a good dealer and then maybe find the good clubs. Then in winter, trudge to work in the snow. Yes snow. I know it is something we Aussies know very little about, I mean our ski resorts are more like coke (the drink) slushie resorts.

Good luck you boring fucks, I hope you find all you are after!

Viral Marketing

Last week I took a quick stroll in my brand new, sleek yet very comfortable FILA sneakers, to the Broadway shopping centre. Along the way I passed many interesting stores, and decided to stop to withdraw money from the CBA ATM..where I shamelessly giggled at myself for not remembering to transfer money via CBA's brand new Internet service. It was a warm day and I was most glad that I had applied my non-greasy Banana Boat 30+ sunscreen before leaving the house. The sheer heat and exercise found me requiring refreshment and let me tell you that there is nothing more refreshing than a Sprtiz Natural Mineral Water.......

Blah, blah, blah.
Ever since that stupid 60 Minute report on Viral Marketing - this is the kind of conversation I have been engaged in. Viral marketing is like a wayward mutant pyramid scheme - with no hope of easy escape. Highly infectious, contagious - with no antidote.

I find it interesting that some people have become excitingly more interesting and informative in general conversation. Some however, have transformed into walking billboards, or radio advertisements that can't be turned off. You know it has to stop when your friends start sharing the latest product info on the Nokia phone (it has an MP3 player you know, and comes in several sporty colours, in fact you would look great with one - here feel how light mine is..great hey). Are they really your friends though....or did they sell their soul in the name of viral marketing.?

Now more than ever, conversation has become an art form. A superbly placed product endorsement in a conversation can generate dollars for the corporate empire or SME business you are employed by. The pressure of it, no longer can you enjoy a social gathering...you will be continually kicking yourself for the lost opportunities, or constantly looking for that small window of opportunity to discuss how good Helga's bread really is, as you pull a sample from your Gucci handbag.

We are living in a new age people, and as a society we must evolve. You must start now, if you ever hope to survive the next 2-3 years when VM will be at its peak. Be on your toes, start really listening to the people you come in contact with and ensure you can easily identify which ones are viral marketers and which ones are just really crap at conversation. Be prepared, and you won't be easily fooled by a bunch of new-aged marketing (so called) guru's - who just want to get into your wallet.

This is war people....Let the campaign begin!

Wankers
It always suprises me when you meet those snotty high class hoitey toitey pathetic losers who really think they are the most hip, coolest and greatest people to set foot on the earth.

At a party the last Saturday night, Pip and I meet just these people. After the 35 second introduction, this girl/woman, asked me, my friend and Pip, what we do for a living. This is ok in context but I don't belive should be the first thing to come out of someones mouth at a party. Of course the second thing to come out was, I own two properties, a BMW and some other crap.

hahaha are you serious? Good the fuck on you. I'm so happy that you are so cool that yu need to tell us this. Can't you even hold a conversation without needing to list all your assets for us....You my never to be friend are a WANKER!

Most of the other people at the party seemed to be of a similar calibar, but of course I could be mistaken after so many party favours were devoured by us, maybe it was just that we were scattered.

The world is not nice
You know when you go to one of those night clubs that are full on, you know the ones were it seems everyone is on some sort of drug and the guys have shirts off with tattoos etc. The girls are all skanks in bikinis and they charge $4 for water. Well we happened to be at one such club last Saturday night. I motioned to Pip to have a look at this girl who looked completely scattered, you know eyes rolling everywhere, and really she looked too young to be that smashed. So I sort of lent over and asked if she was ok. the answer was something like yeah...

This story is very long, so to cut it short Pip ended up looking out for her, it seems her friends had left with her wallet and money and just left her the car keys to drive home....some friends. She made it, but we were scared for her. (damn that was crap story)

XBox - XBox - XBox
It seems everyone wants one or already has one. Well I must admit, I have been playing it only a little bit but I like it. When you can play co-operative Halo, the world os all good. I am suprised that people can go out and buy the Box with all the bits spending in excess of $1500. Man I don't think I could justify that amount on a games machine. But wait, is it just a games machine? I think not. The XBox will be the source of MS getting into your house. Will you soon be able to link up you fridge to the XBox and order food online...who knows.

Flatmates
I would have to have the most inconsiderate flatmates to ever walk this earth! Take this morning for example (and this is only mild compared to what normally happens).

They were heading off early on a road trip to the country and in their excitement they woke before the alarm at 5.00am. They went downstairs to shower and about 20 minutes later their alarm went off.

This alarm is the most annoying alarm ever created, ear shattering in fact.
I was awoken from a deep sleep and forced to enter their stinky den to turn the alarm off. I managed to get back to sleep, only to be woken by banging of doors, stomping of feat and loud conversation.

Now I’m fully awake. 2 hours before I actually have to be awake, but I’m awake.


The guy
I live with the laziest, crankiest and most selfish person I’ve ever known.
This guy does absolutely nothing about the house, however, will complain the loudest when nothing has been done. All he does is snooze on the couch and order pizza. That is it.

When he doesn’t get his own way he sulks and refuses to talk to you. He just mopes about and looks unhappy!

The funny thing is it doesn’t really bother me that he is unhappy, it doesn’t affect my well-being – I couldn’t give a flying fuck either way.

Tally-ho
Welcome back Derwent! It is fantastic to see you are feeling a little better. Hope you get everything together soon and you find that purpose you are looking for!

Well it has indeed been a long time since my last post or update. I have left young Pip all alone to do the updates. I guess I have just been kind of freaked out or maybe not freaked out enough. You knwo when work gets to you and life gets to you, well sometimes you just need to chill.

Well I have been chilling now for, well, at least 9 months and I think it is almost time to get things sorted and get my life back together. Or maybe not. My biggest grudge is the Fucken Pepsi competition. You have to enter your codes from cans of solo or pepsi for you chance to win tickets to concerts and stuff. There is also a competition on the caltex site to win a trip using the same pepsi codes. But how can you enter when you can't read the code on the bottom of the can. I think it is a conspiracy so no one can enter.

Mind you, Pip and I have won so many things of late over the net that I shouldn't complain, but when I can feed my addiction of entering competitions then...I GET ANGRY!

Now back to my life....hmmm party party party!!!!!!!!!

Doof Doof Doof
Transmission was again another excellent event. You can see more at Resident Advisor.

Pepsi Live!
Derwent and I attended the live recording of Episode 1 and 2 of Pepsi Live.

What a strange night.
Not normally the scene that Derwent and myself find ourselves (a bit too popy) – but we thought we’d give it a go. Let me tell you - we are going back for more!

The night began by sharing a queue with loads of young overdressed glam-skanks (yes, I’m being a little harsh).

In the line we came across a die-hard Machine Gun Felatio fan, who has been to every concert, knows every band member by first name and had the nervous habit of readjusting his knob every few minutes.

Much to the horror of Derwent, I introduced myself and well we didn’t get rid of him for most of the night. He ended up being pretty good value and not a bad guy.

We also met a die-hard Alex Lloyd fan, who promptly told our new found friend he had an issue with the ball scratching. I was quite surprised to find someone so honest who would just blurt out – “Geez, you scratch your balls a lot”.

Still debating on whether the hang over was worth it.

That’s Not Art
I’m hoping not to offend here, however, I must ask the question: Just how bad has art become?

This is of course a sweeping generalisation and some art of the modern day is spectacular. A lot of it though is ghastly, and basically demonstrates zero artistic talent!

In an attempt to defend myself against those who would argue that it isn’t so much the work, but the original conceptual idea behind it that makes a work interesting, pioneering and in fact a masterpiece.

Yes I understand the importance of original thought and creation – yet I do not understand that such an artist can receive a $10,000 grant for such crud – all in the name or art.

To me a dot, the size of an ant, in the middle of a 9m x 9m canvas is not amazing, artistic or any of those things.

I don’t know much about art, but I know what I like!

Tragic Tuesday
This notion of Tragic Tuesday was introduced to me by Derwent. It is just one big come-down really, it isn’t the start of the week – however, it isn’t the middle and it is nowhere near the end.

What a mundane day.
People and organizations have tried to jazz it up. Greater Union has half-price movies on Tuesday, Dominos Pizza has Two for Tuesday (get two pizzas for the price of one) and there are many others.

This week my Tragic Tuesday award goes to a little pub that I drive past most days on my way to work. To brighten Tuesday up they have introduced TITS ON TUESDAY.

Transmission
Saturday is warming up to be something spectacular with Transmission. Tickets have SOLD OUT so it is sure to be an excellent event with loads of excellent music.

Too bad it is only Monday and we have to wait the whole week for it to get here.

Olympics
Australia wins its first ever Gold Medal at the Winter Olympics – what a proud day for every Australian. We won the medal because everyone fell over, and our guy just cruised across the finish line first.

Probably not the guys (what is his name?) dream for winning Gold. Nonetheless Gold is Gold and we aren’t the kind of nation that would give it back.

Friday Night Freaks

Christian
Friday night a friend and I (Rowan) headed down to our local nightspot for some dancing. We were happily chatting away when a man in his late 30’s asked us to join us on his couch. He told us he was training to be a physic and wanted to know if we could test his powers.

Being the friendly (and maybe a little strange) kinda people we are, we sat down and tried to have a conversation with Christian the Freak. At first I thought it was me…I thought I was so trashed that I was unable to hold a conversation…but after consulting my young friend (Rowan) we came to the conclusion Christian was actually a Freak.

The conversation went something like this:
Christian: I’m on the edge of the forest, but I don’t pay retail.
Rowan: Sorry, I didn’t quiet get what you said then?
Christian: Don’t I know you, from Budget Eyewear – Liverpool. I thought you were very attractive, you were picking me up and Pedro was getting jealous.
Rowan: Huh?
Christian: Have you seen them? I have to be careful of them. They are watching me, do you see them?
Pippy: Huh?
Christian: Thief, thief they have taken my parcels, where are my parcels.

He didn’t have any parcels. The conversation did go on a bit longer...it just got freaker. We eventually were able to ditch him.


Kevin
I’m walking done George Street, Sydney (after leaving the nightspot) heading home. It is about 3.00am and raining. Kevin approaches me and says please take my phone number, I’m lonely. I am from South Africa and need friends. Will you call me?

I don’t think so.

I didn’t take his phone number, told him I had a boyfriend and really wasn’t interested. He then walked to the next lone walker and tried the same thing…FREAK.

I began to wonder as I wandered along the footpath if I ever seemed that freaky to other people…I hope not.

Where is Derwent?
I have been receiving some email from some distressed readers – asking the whereabouts of one Mr Derwent Banyon.

Let me reassure Derwent’s dedicated followers, that the rumours are not true! Derwent is not being held prisoner in my garage. To the best of my knowledge he is alive and well...

I hate Windows XP!
Considering WXP was meant to revolutionise the way people use computers…it seems to be a big pain in the arse to me. (This is of course just my opinion).

It isn’t so much the operating system; it has a lot of neat features and nifty new ideas. However, it seems that every application and/or component that you install doesn’t work. Patch, after patch, after patch is required to get a scanner to work or get your imaging software to open.

Get it together software people! The hardware people are leaving you for dead at the moment.

What are you doing for VD?
I asked my fellow POD world companions what they had planned for celebrating VD day!

Digby (28, single, engineer)
Valentine’s Day is a load of crap, and I won’t be doing anything.

Desmond (23, dating, engineer)
I have arranged flowers, a candle light dinner for two in the rocks and a quiet stroll around Circular Quay with my beautfiul girlfriend.

Beth (28, engaged, client expectation manager)
I’m hoping to have a hot bath waiting for me when I get home, so I can relax while dinner is being prepared for me. After dinner I will provide a sensual massage for my fiancé.

But…In reality that's not going to happen.

Minh (35, married, engineer)
I don’t celebrate such pagan holidays. It is against my religion.

Marcus (25, actively searching, engineer)
Nothing planned, but hoping to pick up something desperate for love on Valentine's Day a bit later.

Wesly (26, dating, sales)
Oh shit, is it Valentine's Day - I'm f*&ked!

Pippy (27, something, engineer)
I am going to Kings Comics to buy a Kermit the Frog figurine I've had my eye on. Followed by a feast of Sushi and depending on how I feel perhaps a bit of Swing Music at Darling Harbour. Just a typical Thursday for me really :)

VD
That’s right friends. Today is VD! (or Valentine’s Day if you aren’t into the whole ‘breiferty’ thing).

What is the history of VD?
Many hundreds of years ago, the Romans practiced a pagan celebration in February commemorating young men’s rite of passage to the god Lupercus. The main highlight of the festival was a lottery where young men drew the names of teenage girls from a box. The girl he drew from the box became his sex-slave for the remainder of the year.

Right on, I hear all the guys say. But imagine if you pulled Roseanne Barr for the year…that is right not all Roman chicks are babes you know.

As you can imagine the civil libertarians and do-gooders of the time objected to such celebrations and decided (after trialing a few other ideas), to go with St Valentine’s Day instead.

So who the hell is Saint Valentine?
Valentine was beheaded by Emperor Claudius in AD270. Claudius decided that married men made crap soldiers so he banned marriage in an attempte to create a stronger army.

Valentine secretly married young men and women who were desperate to show their love and commitment for each other. When Claudius found out, he ordered that Valentine should be be-headed.

In a bizarre twist, Valentine (while on death-row) feel in love with Claudius's daughter who was blind, and as a parting gift Valentine cured her blindness. Before being taken to his death, he signed a farewell note that stated “From Your Valentine”.

The tradition began, hand written notes to the love of your life became popular. And as the male species evolved (and got lazier) independent bodies like Hallmark and Roses.com stepped in to help out by providing the perfect pre-packaged solutions of love.

This VD I recommend you do something a little different to impress your lover. Keep your head though; there is no need to prove your love with the same sort of enthusiasm as Valentine did.

Derwent’s Bad Habits
As Derwent rarely writes anything on the pages of Ramblings anymore I am taking the liberty of gossiping about him.

Derwent The Stunt Penis
Why the stunt penis? Well he feels it is an excellent way to bag all those porno women in exotic locations (like the producers backyard in Hollywood) and yet still remain anonymous. The perfect crime. You get paid to screw, and no one know. Gold.

I guess that will do for now…

Public Transport
For the first time in a long time I had the traumatic experience of having to catch Public Transport to work and I’m glad I don’t have to do it again for a while.

I began my trek this morning at 7.00am when I closed my front door and began walking to the closest railway station (Newtown). 30 minutes later I arrived at the station only to find the train had been delayed by 20 minutes and I was forced to wait on the platform with the other mind numbing commuters.

A young girl sat down next to me, so I offered her a smile and a good morning. Silly me, I thought it would be left at that – but no this girl babbled on for the whole 20 minutes about this and that, but nothing of any interest.

Approx. 7.50am the trained pulled into the station and I begin the trek out west. The train I selected didn’t actually go to my station (it is on a different line), so I had change trains along the way. Although the change was meant to be flawless – the second train was also delayed by 15 minutes and so another mind numbing wait on the platform.

A short Bus trip (about 15 minutes) from the station to work was then required. Well actually four blocks from work so a 15-minute walk.

All I can say is I’m glad it wasn’t raining.

Music to work to
I don’t mind listening to the odd tune at work. In fact I usually fit my headphones first thing in the morning and then remove them on my way out in the afternoon.

What I hate is: the people who insist on playing the same song, over and over, and over and over again through crappy PC speakers. Even if you start out liking the song and find yourself tapping along, there comes a time when you just can’t take it anymore.

Just do it.
Have you ever worked with a person who needs to know too much detail to complete a simple task? These people ask 400 questions about nothing, just to determine what it is you have already told them. Being an Engineer I work with these people everyday. Everything is scrutinised to the smallest detail and it is very, very annoying.

Today I lost it.
I forgot all work and social etiquette and told everyone to get f&*ked and just do it. “Stop asking me stupid f*&king questions, over and over again – prove to me you have a brain and just do it” I yelled.
As you can imagine, I’m not that popular at the moment. To hell with that!

Day Two
I have the flu, perhaps that is why I was feeling soooo bad over the weekend! So I spent the day on the couch talking life with my sister. Not sure if we actually worked anything out, but the fine company and conversation was excellent. Still not sure if I am feeling better though.

Presentation Night
Not sure what it is called in other countries in the world - in Australia at the end of every school year there is a Presentation Night (or Awards Night). On this night the most notable students are awarded with certificates, medals and scholarships for academic and sporting excellence. It normally goes for three hours, and it is darn boring. In an attempt to break the evening up the drama and music departments inject some talent.

One year, I think I was in Year 9, I happened to be a member of the Recorder Ensemble and we played a wonderful John Denver medely (covering all the favs, Annie's Song, Sunshine, Leaving on a Jet Plane). My chair was positioned at the front, right near the edge of the stage and in my excitement I managed to fall off the stage. I landed on my back with my legs in the air, tunic around my head and well I was flashing the entire school.

My Dad, who had been dragged along for the event, started to laugh really loud and clapping. He even stood up and yelled Encore. I think it was the funniest thing he had ever seen at a Presentation Night.

As you can imagine I was reminded of the event for the next few weeks, before we broke up for holidays. It just goes to show it always pays to leave the house with clean underwear on - as you never know what might happen.

Is the weekend over?
I can’t believe the weekend is over and I’m back at work. What an eventful weekend it was…I can’t say much of it was very good either.

Old Friends
An old friend from school arrived in Sydney Saturday afternoon on his way to a world adventure. I hadn’t seen this friend for years, so much had changed in both our lives and it was excellent to catch up.

I stupidly offered him a place to stay while waiting for his plane to fly to his adventure…and well now after two days I am so ready for him to be gone that I’m finding it difficult to be friendly. It isn’t that I don’t like the guy – I get the feeling that his prescences is upseting everyone. Maybe I have read too much into it.

This invitation has managed to upset almost everyone and for the first time in a long time I regret extending a friendly gesture to another. Harsh maybe, but the people in my life now are far more important to me than someone I haven’t seen for 8 years.

I hope the people in my life now know this.

Break-ups
A good friend of mine broke up with his partner this weekend. The break-up itself was very dramatic and my friend ended up in the hospital and received 3 stiches to the head. Terrible. Understandably, he isn’t feeling that great – but after the events of the weekend he is fairly confident he has made the right decision in moving on and away from this destructive force in his life.

Ever chased the end of a rainbow?
You can never find the pot of gold.
I’m starting to think that perhaps it is the same for me with love. Maybe I have got myself completely wrong – but I would describe myself as a giving, loving and slight crazy person – a girl with a zest for the moment. Someone who loves, like they have never been hurt and someone who loves to make others happy. Surely, that is something someone could love.

A work colleague (that doesn’t know me that well I may add), described me as:
“ A girl that guys date when they want a mate/friend with benefits – but I’m not the kind of girl someone could fall in love with”.

I’m not sure what that means…but it’s got me thinking.

Tomorrow
Kind of an intense weekend – but I’m sure tomorrow will be bigger and better. Just call me Suicidal McGloomy today.

Dynamic Duo
I would say that most people would describe their grandparents as sweet, cookie baking, hug warming gentle folk.

Well…the best way to describe my grandparents would be beer-swilling skanks that know how to party. (Before you get all huffy about my description, I actually mean this in the nicest possible way). With brutal honesty my Grandparents provided me with worldly wisdom and well just taught me to enjoy whatever hand life deals you.

Porno
You wouldn’t say my Pop is a dirty old man, but you would say he enjoys the odd porno.
Whilst in the video store a few months ago, he decided he would borrow a porno for his viewing pleasure later that night.

Not being able to see that well, he asked my sister to read the back editorial (he wanted a good one). My sister began to read out loud (he is kind of deaf as well – so it was pretty loud), Michelle finds out how tough it really is in the Army when she gets f&8ked by most of her Platoon. Michelle likes to take it all ways, so there is plenty of three way action, DP and hard arse f*&king. And on it went…

The surprising thing was about 4 other seniors had moved in a bit closer to hear about it, and one fellow even piped up to say he had already seen it – and it wasn’t that good.

All Arse
My Pop is 85 years of age; he doesn’t look a day over 82 though. Over the years he has provided me with many a chuckle with his antics. Here is just one.

Pop has arse problems, not sure what it is (and really don’t want to know), all I know is that he has arse problems. Twice a day he needs to insert some kind of ointment in his butt which provides him with relief and well gives him something to grumble about. The ointment comes in a smallish tube that has a long tip (the bit that is inserted in the arse).

Being an older man, he’s eye site isn’t that great – in fact it is pretty rotten.

The ointment is normally kept on the dresser, for easy access. On this fine day, my cousin caused my Pop a little bit of grief when he returned some super glue he had borrowed earlier that day. Instead of returning the super glue to its rightful place (a drawer under the bed), he placed it on the dresser (next to the arse ointment).

When the daily ritual of inserting the ointment in the arse came around, Pop picked the incorrect tube and managed to super glue his arse shut (as if you didn’t see that coming). In the process he managed to superglue his fingers to his butt, his shirt to his fingers his pants to the shirt and well it was just a big ole mess.

After much swearing and taking the lord’s name in vain – Pop was taken to the hospital where his fingers and arse were unstuck.

Yes, he still has arse problems today.

Work, Love and other Catastrophes
Here we are at Thursday. How I got here I’m not exactly sure.

Work is floating past nicely; I have surprised myself on how productive I have been the last few days, I think it was more out of necessity to ensure the days go quickly than my complete dedication towards the position.

Love is floating along nicely; I have been surprised by how wonderful the little things are. A morning greeting or a e-card from your lover can really make you smile and remember how fine it is to be in love.

Catastrophes, I have managed to escape any catastrophes and now I’m just waiting for the weekend.

There have been a signifigant lack of updates from Pip and I because we have just been partying too hard. Things are just too hard at the moment. Stayed tuned, we will be back in form, once the drugs ware off!

Shameful pimping of other webloggers, funny how we suddenly become neighbours without actually knowing...

Jish asked me to say HI! to my webloggers webring neighbours.
» to the left of me: Umm Dunno.
» to the right of me: Glass Wings.

Bums
We have all seen them moving slowly along the pavement, or sleeping in the local park. Not many of us can say we have actually stopped for a conversation with a bum. We all have our different reasons, out of mind out of sight, the smell is just too much or perhaps you feel it is rude to wake them during a deep sleep.

The Bumhunt.com website gets up close to Bums.

Live your own life
I find it somewhat ridiculous when I come across people who seem to live their lives through their partners. These people seem to lack either the confidence or flair to find a hobby or interest of their own so they just become a parasite, clinging to their host-like partner.

The host of the relationship probably finds this an attractive characteristic of their parasite, to find a girl/guy who shares the same interests…and of course that is true. I do think you can take it too far though.

Take for example a girl I work with.
Her better half rides a motorbike she does not. But if you were to ask her about motorbikes she would repeat verbatim everything she has heard from the boyfriend in seven-part harmony. None of what she says is based on personal experience – as she has never ridden a motorbike – but you ask her and she will tell you she knows it all.

Get involved in and share the hobbies of your partner and friends. Just don’t become an authority on a subject – just because someone you know does it. In my opinion, it makes you seem desperate for a life.

New Order
To be honest, I wasn't really expecting much. After reading a couple of bad reviews about New Order live - I went in expecting the worst. Man, was I surprised!!!!! New Order went off - like a frog in a sock. Derwent and I were dancing away in our own little worlds...it was all good.

David Byrne
The guy is a guru, what an awesome concert. He got three standing ovations. Apart from the fact that my mother wanted o go and see him and most of the people there were olderthan my mother. HE ROCKED!

Who put the dot in dot com
Who cares really. It was a great adaventure that Pip and I did last weekend, makes it very hard to get back into the swing of things, with Monday and Tuesday now rolling extremly slowly, leading up to a huge week of musical events. Today we start with the old David Byrne in concert, Tomorrow New Order, (these two acts do start to show our age) Saturday sees us at the Big Day Out make sure you say hi if you see us. Even if you don't know what we look like just say hi to any guy and girl you see, you will meet heaps more people that way. Sunday we finish with Vibes on a Summers day, again, if you see us, say hello. Monday will be relaxation time, at this stage I will be holding a pool party at my place and you are all invited.

Dapper fashion is back for men
After years of grunge, it seems that the well dressed are back in fashion, or are they?

This season real men maybe wearing, a three-piece suit, with a pair of high-soled multi coloured joggers or a plaid sports jacket with the sleeves reversed (to show the lining) or even a velvet lounge jacket with…the ‘comeback’ skivvy.

Call me uncivilised, but for a fella you really can’t go past a pair of Levis, a T-shirt and fine cologne.

Love Your Disease
Have you ever come across a person that just loves to be sick? They find out they have some rare strain of tropical fungus and just can’t wait to tell you all about it (in full detail). It seems this kind of person is happy to have this busted-arse disease and is even inclined to promote the fact.

I have one of these people at my office. Couldn’t wait to tell me this morning how lucky she is to have contracted the seventh rarest form of tinea. Only found in 4 countries and so far only 15,000 people worldwide actually have it – she happens to be one of them.

There was even an offer to remove the shoe and sock to give me the opportunity to see this national treasure up close and personal. I think I disappointed her when I told her I really didn’t have the time now – but maybe later. I really don’t want to see tinea, even if it is rare.

Fair suck of the sav.
Fair enough love your disease, but don’t spread it around – that is what starts an epidemic.

Adventure
Two friends, two motorbikes and approx. 700Kms of road – and we have adventure.

Last weekend Derwent and I headed off on a new adventure and went north for some R&R. After month(s) of parties, work and stress – we took the opportunity of a beautiful sunny weekend to get away.

We headed off two hours later than planned (mainly due to my lack of organization), finally to the disgust of Derwent we set off around 7.00amish. What a beautiful morning it was.

Destination Foster
Besides a couple of beaches there really isn’t much to Foster. There is however, some beautiful National Parks around Foster and miles of secluded/unpatrolled beaches.

After a 3 hour ride we arrived at Foster, and headed to the beach for a paddle and sunbake – where we both promptly fell asleep and managed to get really horribly burnt…….all bad.

Sunday morning we set off for the return trip. We took advantage of the beautifully warm day to see some more of the mid-north coast. Taking a dirt road to Myall Lakes and then a punt trip to Mungo Brush – before speeding along a back-road to Hawke’s Nest where we stopped at the beach.

Making our way back through Newcastle and the Central Coast before tackling the Old Pacific Hwy. The Old Pacific Hwy, is all but deserted - it is also a much loved bit of road for most motorbike riders. It has long sweeping S-Bends and really puts man (girls as well) and machine to the test. VRRROOOOOOMMMMMMMM.

I can tell you after the 9-hour ride home, I was pretty happy to get off the bike and rest my legs and butt!!!!

I Loooooooove Lollies
If you are anything like me (which you probably are not – I doubt you really would want to be either – I have been told I’m a little crazy, but in a good way?), then you enjoy the odd lolly.

If you were to ask me which lolly is my favourite, I would easily say the Redskin. It is difficult to explain why this lolly is my favourite, as it is difficult to eat, can be sticky and well doesn’t even taste that terrific – it is just one of things…I love them.

I also enjoy Magic Gum, Gummi Bears and of who could forget Runts.

Virgin Spears
If you are part of the revolutionised free world you have probably heard of Britney Spears. This young lady is a rock, in a society that is basically perverted, promiscuous and down right dirty. (If she were to walk past King Arthur’s statue he would drop his sword – so to speak). Her body is her temple and she is saving herself for marriage. You go girl!

All I can say is, have you seen her video clips.
You can’t tell me that a girl who is basically having an orgy, or flashes a bit of camel toe is pure. The sensual glow alone is a dead give away.

The trouble with teenagers…..
Prince Harry is a party about to happen. You have to feel sorry for the royal lad. He skulls a few pints, pulls a few cones and is heading off to rehab and lectured by the future King. You have to admit that most teenagers dabble in under-age drinking and even the odd reefer – when the average teenager gets busted they don’t end up on the front page of The Sun.

It all seems a bit steep to me. Like J.J.Cale said: Let it all hang out.

To see the all exciting video shot of Pepe the shrimp muppet. Click Here.

Stalkers
Why is it that some people that you just want to go away, seem to linger around you like a bad smell. You’ve indicated that you don’t want to be their friend, lover or have any contact with them at all and yet they still seem to want to be apart of whatever it is you are doing.

It all starts to get a bit strange when this ‘Stalker’ appears at places where you just happen to be. You are dining with some friends, and there he/she is. “Fancy, meeting you here” the Stalker comments. Then a couple of days later you are on a train and you hear the voice, “Fancy, meeting you here”.

Is it that stalkers are desperate for friends that once you show any sign of approval they latch on like a leech and are impossible to shake? Or is it that these people really have no idea on how annoying they really are – in fact they think they are doing you a favour by being your friend.

To me, there are many levels of stalkers: same-gender Stalkers, opposite-gender Stalkers, lust Stalkers, and freaky/Dangerous Stalkers. All being equally annoying, some are more dangerous than the others.

More and more people are being cyber-stalked. Strange e-mails appearing in your inbox, from people that you don’t think you know, but you actually may. It is so simple to create a whole new identity on-line. With the right amount of care and without spending a cent - you can create an email address, build photo albums for this alter-personality, a personal homepage, and even make a network of friends without even leaving your computer. It is kind of scary really.

Ultimately it comes down to this – you are a Stalker, a Stalkee or a Bi-Stalker (you like it both ways). Go forth and meet people on-line, but always ask for at least 6 forms of identification before inviting them back to your home.

What are your thoughts on Stalkers Derwent (if that is your real name)?

Well the mini rocket launch was a success with both the small rocket and the slightly bigger one launching to perfection. All who came along for the launching were pleased. As was Pip and myself because we really don't have a clue what we are doing. I think next time we should maybe not launch in such a densly populated area.

Has anyone ever had the problem of logging into their Yahoo email account and finding that they can't. This morning i tried and it tells me my password is wrong. I don't think so, I have used that password and email account for the last...god knows how long. It serves me right using my first name as a password I guess. If you get an email from me then, umm it wasn't me...

It's Friday today, so everyone have a great weekend and...

Rockets
Today will be the first launching of Scorpion 4000. This is the latest rocket in the Derwent-Pippy Rocket Collection.

This little baby is pure power, it can launch into space (well almost into space, well not quiet space, no-where near space in actual fact). Hand engineered by Derwent himself (I read the directions though), its launch will set us apart from the hobbyist Rocket Launcher and bring us into the realm of hard-core Rocketeers.

Ok, I’m kidding.
We are planning on launching our busted-arsed Rocket this afternoon – and although a power little baby – it will be lucky if thing gets of the ground. Stupidly (it was my pure excitement), I have invited a 6 or so people to witness the event.

Today I share just some of the crap from my Inbox with you.

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What to do at lunch time?
Suprisingly enough, this thought always comes to me at about lunch time. what do you do in that one hour, or less as the case may be? Do you always go to the same store to buy your food? Do you always go to the gym? Or maybe you always stroll through the shops or just sit at your desk and surf that internet thing.

Well have I got some suggestions for you. You can diagnose a bacterial infection or maybe, whiten those teeth or take a tour of a planetarium, develop photos, duck down a dark/quiet alley for a quickie with your girl or that cute chick from accounting, watch one hour of girl power from the spice girls, bake some bread, strip some paint, or maybe just have that lunchtime combo after all. Please note these are just some suggestions, not recommendations. For recommendations, well, get to the pub and have the liquid lunch, makes your offices mates lauch at your drunked antics all afternoon and the day go quicker for you. Have fun!

Well whilst praising the great job the firies were/are doing on the NSW fires, it seems water was to be my biggest enemy. I awoke the other morning at about 5:30 to the sound of running water. No wonder I needed to pee real bad. I look out my window and see water absolutely pissing around the side of the house.

It seems a water main had burst and gushed through the lower level of my house. Excellent a foot and a half of water over everything, including my computers, stero, tv, documents, video tapes, ah heck you name it. So you would be correct in assuming that I'm none to cheery at the moment.

Horrible Monday
I just don’t want to be at work today. I don’t want to be looking at a computer screen for a good eight hours, and I don’t want to be sitting inside at a desk.

I need a holiday.

Fire-setting
I was surprised to read that it was mainly teenagers who were responsible for lighting many of the fires that are blazing across NSW. Don’t think I’m preaching, I was by no means the perfect teenager – however, I can honestly say that I was not responsible for causing anything of such malice destruction.

Fire Fire Fire
If you are reading this site from another country ie not Australia, then you may not be aware of the fires that are raging through the state of NSW. I'd like to send a HUGE GOOD JOB to all the fireies out there who have worked through Christmas and the New Year to help those people whose houses are under threat or have been destroyed by the fire. To those 20 or more low life scum who have been busted for arson over this period, I hope to hell you get burned, come over here and say hello....F#$%#% SCUM!



Check out the Sydney Morning Herald for more photos and fire information.

Durex Global Sex Survey

For Nate
The statistics show that 1 in 5 people have sex on the first night. Whether this is completed in the car, home, park or toilet I’m not too sure.

Shaggin’ Wagon, F%&k Truck or Root Boot are all names for the Vehicular Love Den. The VLD has long been a favourite of teenagers, two-timing and sexuality adventurous lovers. I don’t see why having first time sex in the car could be considered tacky by your new love interest. Obviously, she was up for a bit of slap and tickle if she was willing to jump your bones in the car.

My advice.
You seem like a decent kind of guy, so just be yourself.

I think the key, if you like this girl and you want to take it further, is to romance her. You don’t have to spend a lot of money. Why not send her a card filled with cut-out love hearts or kisses (X), or you could meet for a picnic lunch and just spend some time talking.

If you don’t want to take it further with her, but want her to know that you aren’t the kind of person that does this often – then have the courtesy to meet with her for coffee and drop it into the conversation, and don’t promise to call her if you know you won’t. Set the right expectations.

My warning.
Be careful. I can’t really comment on the dance/disco/club scene in the US. In Australia though, there is a growing number of Disco Skanks. These girls are wretched vermin that appear flashy in their skimpy jeans and tight tops – they are very shallow and do the rounds. Make sure you aren’t the one being bamboozled.

Good luck, and let us know how you go!

Oh Man.
Hello, it has been a while.

Christmas 2001
Everyone is probably over it by now, but Merry Christmas from me to you. If like me you still have half a leg of ham in the fridge, you are more than likely sick of ham – ham for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I think I will write a cookbook 101 ways to eat, cook and enjoy ham. My favourite at the moment is ham, avocado, Swiss cheese and tomato toasted sandwich. But even that is getting a bit tiring.

NYE 2002 – That was f%&cking great!
Fireworks.
Once again Sydney officials have out done themselves. A 17.5-minute visual feast was enjoyed by 1000’s of people crowded along the harbour foreshore. My opinion on the fiery display – it was pretty much the same as last year. Not to put a downer on the whole thing, but maybe we should go for something with a bit more crowd participation. Tokyo citizens had the right idea; everyone let go of balloons that floated around the city at mid-night.

My night.
A party about to happen, a party that happened, and then they swept up the streamers.
It was all good.
And to think next year can only get better!

Derwent’s night (as interpreted by Pip).
Boy can this boy hurl.
I have never seen anyone vomit like Derwent. It is like something out of a horror movie, a loud squealing noise followed by a gush of liquid that travels at the speed of light. I must say Derwent; you have the most interesting vomit of anyone I know.

Your night.
So what did everyone else get up to?

Ready?
So are you all prepared for the BIG night? Bought the alcohol and party favours ready to welcome in a new year. 2002. I'm sorry bu how fast did 2001 go, or is it just me? Well we have prepared ourselves with new t-shirts, old shoes washed jeans and plenty of pre-nye-sleep. Tonight will go off. Fireworks on the harbour, partying in the street and rampant abuse of ones body. If yu see us about, make sure you say hi. Oh, you don't know who to look for? Well look for the people that are having the best time and that will be us!

BRING IT ON I SAY!

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU BUT I'M A PARTY ABOUT TO HAPPEN!

Thanks for the email Nate. I have pasted it below:

I met someone at a club last Friday night (chatted, didn't go home with them...not my style). Monday night we hooked up again and after a night of drinking and a shot each before the club closed, we headed off to my car for a 2 hour make out session before parting company. We're meeting again tonight and I would like to know where I can find statistical information on-line citing statistics sexual practices of Americans (or any group for that matter) to show this person that what we did is not at all uncommon and I'm a really nice guy and not just another fashion conscience
whore? Thanks!

Nate

Thanks for dropping us a line, I'm not sure about statistics, I guess it would really depend on what you mean by "making out". I think you two obviously have some connection, also with your follow up evenings that this relationship is going somewhere. I don't think you need to blind her with science and statistics to prove a point, the main reason people make out in cars is because they don't have a place to go to. ie you both live with your parents. If this isn't the case then make sure you pop the proverbial, would you like to come in for a coffee routine. This gets you out of the car and into safer territory. However, there are people who really get off on the vouyerism of doing this type of thing in public, so maybe she is getting extra excitement out of this car fetish. I say, go as far as you can, don't worry about being a fashion victim, ask her how she feels? Does she like the car, why not get a room, or get a blanket and head off to the nearest beach, park or roof top. If you really need statistics on the matter, just make em up. It works for everything I do. Just say, did you know that 1 out of every 3 teen age relationship starts out in the car. To prove your point, take her to the local "parking" area and show her all the cars with foggy windows.

Pip what do you reckon?

YEAH!
Blogger is back. I'm still alive. There is still beer and party favours. The sun is out. The music is loud. All is good with the world.

In case you were wondering about the Christmas present situation, well I pulled a last minute rabbit out of the hat and got my dad a Golf book from Tiger Woods tited Golf My Way. God bless his little golfing heart.

Well another pact has been made, this time that there will be no partying until NYE. How I can still be completely exhausted a week after last weekend is beyond me. Maybe it is the fact that I'm actually 31 now and it does get that much harder to get up in the mornings. A movie has been scheduled for tonight to ensure no breaking of the pact, then tomorrow is a friends place at the beach with BBQ, sun and swimming. Good lord I hear you gasp! Not healthy stuff. Well after the sensational BBQ Octopus Salad Pip whipped up last night wonders will never cease as to how healthy we are trying to be, really just to get us prepped for....drum roll....NYE. If you happen to be in Sydney for NYE keep an eye out for us. Just look for the Muppet and the Frog....Make sure you say hello.

I have come to the realisation that we haven't bagged anything/anyone out in quiet some time. We have not had any real bones to pick, this might be because we have just been to busy hgetting completely trashed and haven't really noticed. So...let me bag out smelly taxi drivers. Man this cab guy the other day, I'm sure he poo'd his pants. I'm serious. It smelt like shit. Yes. SHIT!. Hmmm that will do.

People, be nice, play safe and most of all ENJOY!

Tomorrow
In case, like me, you tend to lose all track of time, space etc, then you should know that tomorrow is Christmas. If you need to buy presents then this should be done by the end of today. f you have already bought everyone presents, then you should chill and stop being so organised, try being a non planner. It is awesome. Have a good one everybody and if anyone has any clue at all as to what I can buy for my old man, let me know, there are only a few hours of shopping time left. Also I need to get the Pipster something. So post a comment please help me.....I need ideas!

GOLD!
So do you think a quiet night could be had? Not likely at all. Friday saw us go for two quiet beers at the local. Then a pact was made that everyone would be home by 12 as some had to work. Excellent, good plan. We made it home by mid night, but alas that was when the party actually started. After grabbing two hours sleep, a quick trip home to visit the parents swap a few Christmas presents and well wishes then back to get ready for the big party! With 25 of my closest friends. The drinks flowed freely, until midnight when we decieded to move on for some serious dancing at GAS night club. Needless to say, we crawled out at dawn. Thanks to everyone who came especially those that hung with us until the end, those that gave me cool presents and those that partied on even harded beyond the relem of human party ability.
Let's go and do it again tonight

Hahaha A week. Yes well me too. But now..I'm ready, bring it on, a party about to happen.

With a huge night planned for Saturday night. All I need to do now is ensure I don't go out tonight. I made it through last night as did Pip. Even with friends smsing all night long with promises of a great night a huge night a night filled with sensory sensations. We managed to put it off. But tonight, there are offers out there people are pumped for xmas, they have holidays. It is going to be very hard to be good and leave teh build up for tomorrow. GIVE ME STRENGTH.

Crickey! It’s Thursday Already
That is how well I’m doing Derwent. It has taken me the week to get ready to do it all again. Be assured that I am back and ready for the weekend to begin, the gateway to a marathon stretch that spans the remainder of December and most of January. My kidneys are scared.

Scattered
Well maybe it is something that is deserved. After trying to do 3 Christmas parties in one day/night. I'm sure it was good. If someone saw me there can you let me know what I was up to and if I had a good time? I think the crunch was having to work on Saturday, after getting, well no sleep at all really and just stumbling to work. Sleep, who needs it. Well this week will be a quiet one. Didn't I say that last week? How you feeling Pip?

Christmas
What do you by parents who have everything? Any ideas? Time is running out I think Christmas is sometime soon.

Busy avoiding work
Today I have spent much of the day completing a suite of tests at thespark.com

I am relieved to know that I am only 19% bitch, which is way down on the world average.
Officially Pip is not a bitch!

Favourite Sandwich
Turkish Bread (no butter), Roasted Turkey Breast, Cranberry Sauce, Avocado, Swiss Cheese, Snow Pea Sprouts, Cracked Pepper

How about you?

Bad Lunch
A fellow co-worker would have to be the unluckiest luncher I have ever come across. This guy has the knack of ordering whatever is bad, not cooked or poisoned.

Recently he decided to go Asian.
He ordered giant Dim Sims with a side order of rice. It was delivered to the table, and as he took a large bite the thing was still frozen and raw in the centre. Disappointed he complained to the restaurateur who swiftly took the plate. A few moments later the same Dim Sim was returned to the table - Reheated and direct from the microwave. The Dim Sim had turned to mush, with jelly like juices running from it.

We were gob smacked by this lack of service, and have since blacklisted the establishment.

Working Mirage
Lunch is a mirage in the working day. All morning you wait for lunch, busy at your desk, talking on the phone, sending email…then lunch comes around and you ring up your buddies to head down for food, drink and conversation. There are people you enjoy having lunch with and others who you try to avoid. Either way, you are happy to get away from work for a bit.

You have your favourite haunts, places you dine at regularly. The food is good, the price is right or you know you will get a table. You get to know the people behind the counter and eventually you end up on first name basis. You ask them about their weekend, what they have planned for Christmas and other polite small talk. In exchange you receive extras or small discounts because you are a ‘regular’.

Then in 30 minutes – 1 hour it is over.

You have to head back to your desk in PODland and charge through at least another 4 hours of work. By mid afternoon you feel like a nap, or wished you hadn’t selected the healthy salad (with no dressing) because your stomach is making churning noises.

Questioning yourself, you aren’t sure you can make it to 5pm so you start to think up reasons why you have to leave early. I have a plane to catch, a meeting on the other side of the city, your car is being serviced and you have to pick it up, you have urgent banking that just can’t wait (and no you can’t do it over the internet). All in vain, you swindled that 15-minute early mark, you receive an urgent phone call just as you are about to leave the office and you end up working back another 30 minutes.

Lunch does this to us, everyday.
We think it is something good – getting away from the office, seeing some daylight, getting out of the air-conditioned disease growing pit of an office – only to build that false hope - the day is nearly over.

All turned out ok after the weekend from HELL! Maybe not the weekend from hell, but it was definately the party weekend of the year...so far. Friday night spent out drinking and other silly ventures get to bed about 5:30am then up again at like 6:30 trudge over to Pip's place then get ready for Homebake. after quing for an hour or so, a big thanks goesout to our friends who were already in the que saving us another hour. We then sat in the rain with 40,000 other pissed idiots. Gee am I really like that when drunk. Hmmm. We slink out for dinner at about 7:00pm and deceide not to return. Well do have to see SUN Project at 11:00pm anyway. Crash at Pip's place only to leap out of bed at 2:00am thinking we have missed it. A quick phone call to "tha Man" who ensures us they have not started yet. GOLD!

After waiting for a cab that never came, I think we rang one. We wandered in the general direction of the city and eventually found one. It is now about 3:00am and SUN Project are pumping. I'm gad we crawled out of bed after all. Heavy metal meets trance. Sensational. Pip was feeling a tad under the weather, could have been all the alcohol at Homebake or the party favours. Maybe it was just the excitment of everything she's only little after all. The DJ's that were accompanying SUN Project were awwesome also, tossing out some great hard house to keep us all CHARG'N. When the abience and lights came on, only slightly at 6:00 we wander off to Daydream. I have been promising "Tha Man" that I would stop by so we did. Not Pip's or my place of places so we left about 8:00am for some well deserved sleep. We got an hour or so, then watched 80's movieson TV for the rest of the day.

So. How was your weekend?

The Job
Every day we slog away for the big corporations, or little as the case may be and for what? To earn a living. To buy the things we 'need'. Does your job deliver all that you expect? Are you a Nurse that helps sick people? Are you an Engineer that builds buildings/bridges/small communities in Africa. Or do you work for an IT company and build webpages that no one ever looks at? Is that fullfilling for you? Are you happy that you get paid heaps yet add no value to society? I for one don't give a rats. I think if those jobs are there and people are willing to pay for it then they should be all yours. I guess it would be nice to know you were 'adding value' but what the hey!

Well, Gatecrasher was pretty damn awesome, with something like 10,000 people in attendance from 1:00pm Saturday until 8:00am Sunday. HUGE. A big hi to all our 'new friends' hahaha Gold! A friend over at Resident Advisor has posted his pictures, no we aren't in any of them. Thank goodness. Nothing like a quiet weekend with a little music and friends...hehehehe

Muppets.
Felt and furry with crazy hair. How long has it been since you watched The Muppets? Remember all the crazy characters, and friendly faces. If you don’t then I recommend you head down to your local video store and get yourself some Muppet videos.

The Muppet way of life is something (I believe anyway) we should try to integrate in our day to day lives. Seriously, I do!!

Muppets have this natural grace to live well. They don’t intend to hurt anyone, they like to enjoy themselves and they don’t have a lot of fears. Muppets accept the weird and the wonderful and truly believe that every Muppet (or being) has a talent, even if that talent maybe eating rubber tyres. A Muppet doesn’t judge the creatures they meet by what they wear or believe. Instead a Muppet relies simply on the actions and the way they are treated in each encounter. Muppets aren’t afraid to be themselves, and are very trusting. They truly want their friends and their Muppet family to find happiness and eventually they are bound to find that in return.