Flatmates
I would have to have the most inconsiderate flatmates to ever walk this earth! Take this morning for example (and this is only mild compared to what normally happens).

They were heading off early on a road trip to the country and in their excitement they woke before the alarm at 5.00am. They went downstairs to shower and about 20 minutes later their alarm went off.

This alarm is the most annoying alarm ever created, ear shattering in fact.
I was awoken from a deep sleep and forced to enter their stinky den to turn the alarm off. I managed to get back to sleep, only to be woken by banging of doors, stomping of feat and loud conversation.

Now I’m fully awake. 2 hours before I actually have to be awake, but I’m awake.


The guy
I live with the laziest, crankiest and most selfish person I’ve ever known.
This guy does absolutely nothing about the house, however, will complain the loudest when nothing has been done. All he does is snooze on the couch and order pizza. That is it.

When he doesn’t get his own way he sulks and refuses to talk to you. He just mopes about and looks unhappy!

The funny thing is it doesn’t really bother me that he is unhappy, it doesn’t affect my well-being – I couldn’t give a flying fuck either way.

Tally-ho
Welcome back Derwent! It is fantastic to see you are feeling a little better. Hope you get everything together soon and you find that purpose you are looking for!

Well it has indeed been a long time since my last post or update. I have left young Pip all alone to do the updates. I guess I have just been kind of freaked out or maybe not freaked out enough. You knwo when work gets to you and life gets to you, well sometimes you just need to chill.

Well I have been chilling now for, well, at least 9 months and I think it is almost time to get things sorted and get my life back together. Or maybe not. My biggest grudge is the Fucken Pepsi competition. You have to enter your codes from cans of solo or pepsi for you chance to win tickets to concerts and stuff. There is also a competition on the caltex site to win a trip using the same pepsi codes. But how can you enter when you can't read the code on the bottom of the can. I think it is a conspiracy so no one can enter.

Mind you, Pip and I have won so many things of late over the net that I shouldn't complain, but when I can feed my addiction of entering competitions then...I GET ANGRY!

Now back to my life....hmmm party party party!!!!!!!!!

Doof Doof Doof
Transmission was again another excellent event. You can see more at Resident Advisor.

Pepsi Live!
Derwent and I attended the live recording of Episode 1 and 2 of Pepsi Live.

What a strange night.
Not normally the scene that Derwent and myself find ourselves (a bit too popy) – but we thought we’d give it a go. Let me tell you - we are going back for more!

The night began by sharing a queue with loads of young overdressed glam-skanks (yes, I’m being a little harsh).

In the line we came across a die-hard Machine Gun Felatio fan, who has been to every concert, knows every band member by first name and had the nervous habit of readjusting his knob every few minutes.

Much to the horror of Derwent, I introduced myself and well we didn’t get rid of him for most of the night. He ended up being pretty good value and not a bad guy.

We also met a die-hard Alex Lloyd fan, who promptly told our new found friend he had an issue with the ball scratching. I was quite surprised to find someone so honest who would just blurt out – “Geez, you scratch your balls a lot”.

Still debating on whether the hang over was worth it.

That’s Not Art
I’m hoping not to offend here, however, I must ask the question: Just how bad has art become?

This is of course a sweeping generalisation and some art of the modern day is spectacular. A lot of it though is ghastly, and basically demonstrates zero artistic talent!

In an attempt to defend myself against those who would argue that it isn’t so much the work, but the original conceptual idea behind it that makes a work interesting, pioneering and in fact a masterpiece.

Yes I understand the importance of original thought and creation – yet I do not understand that such an artist can receive a $10,000 grant for such crud – all in the name or art.

To me a dot, the size of an ant, in the middle of a 9m x 9m canvas is not amazing, artistic or any of those things.

I don’t know much about art, but I know what I like!

Tragic Tuesday
This notion of Tragic Tuesday was introduced to me by Derwent. It is just one big come-down really, it isn’t the start of the week – however, it isn’t the middle and it is nowhere near the end.

What a mundane day.
People and organizations have tried to jazz it up. Greater Union has half-price movies on Tuesday, Dominos Pizza has Two for Tuesday (get two pizzas for the price of one) and there are many others.

This week my Tragic Tuesday award goes to a little pub that I drive past most days on my way to work. To brighten Tuesday up they have introduced TITS ON TUESDAY.

Transmission
Saturday is warming up to be something spectacular with Transmission. Tickets have SOLD OUT so it is sure to be an excellent event with loads of excellent music.

Too bad it is only Monday and we have to wait the whole week for it to get here.

Olympics
Australia wins its first ever Gold Medal at the Winter Olympics – what a proud day for every Australian. We won the medal because everyone fell over, and our guy just cruised across the finish line first.

Probably not the guys (what is his name?) dream for winning Gold. Nonetheless Gold is Gold and we aren’t the kind of nation that would give it back.

Friday Night Freaks

Christian
Friday night a friend and I (Rowan) headed down to our local nightspot for some dancing. We were happily chatting away when a man in his late 30’s asked us to join us on his couch. He told us he was training to be a physic and wanted to know if we could test his powers.

Being the friendly (and maybe a little strange) kinda people we are, we sat down and tried to have a conversation with Christian the Freak. At first I thought it was me…I thought I was so trashed that I was unable to hold a conversation…but after consulting my young friend (Rowan) we came to the conclusion Christian was actually a Freak.

The conversation went something like this:
Christian: I’m on the edge of the forest, but I don’t pay retail.
Rowan: Sorry, I didn’t quiet get what you said then?
Christian: Don’t I know you, from Budget Eyewear – Liverpool. I thought you were very attractive, you were picking me up and Pedro was getting jealous.
Rowan: Huh?
Christian: Have you seen them? I have to be careful of them. They are watching me, do you see them?
Pippy: Huh?
Christian: Thief, thief they have taken my parcels, where are my parcels.

He didn’t have any parcels. The conversation did go on a bit longer...it just got freaker. We eventually were able to ditch him.


Kevin
I’m walking done George Street, Sydney (after leaving the nightspot) heading home. It is about 3.00am and raining. Kevin approaches me and says please take my phone number, I’m lonely. I am from South Africa and need friends. Will you call me?

I don’t think so.

I didn’t take his phone number, told him I had a boyfriend and really wasn’t interested. He then walked to the next lone walker and tried the same thing…FREAK.

I began to wonder as I wandered along the footpath if I ever seemed that freaky to other people…I hope not.

Where is Derwent?
I have been receiving some email from some distressed readers – asking the whereabouts of one Mr Derwent Banyon.

Let me reassure Derwent’s dedicated followers, that the rumours are not true! Derwent is not being held prisoner in my garage. To the best of my knowledge he is alive and well...

I hate Windows XP!
Considering WXP was meant to revolutionise the way people use computers…it seems to be a big pain in the arse to me. (This is of course just my opinion).

It isn’t so much the operating system; it has a lot of neat features and nifty new ideas. However, it seems that every application and/or component that you install doesn’t work. Patch, after patch, after patch is required to get a scanner to work or get your imaging software to open.

Get it together software people! The hardware people are leaving you for dead at the moment.

What are you doing for VD?
I asked my fellow POD world companions what they had planned for celebrating VD day!

Digby (28, single, engineer)
Valentine’s Day is a load of crap, and I won’t be doing anything.

Desmond (23, dating, engineer)
I have arranged flowers, a candle light dinner for two in the rocks and a quiet stroll around Circular Quay with my beautfiul girlfriend.

Beth (28, engaged, client expectation manager)
I’m hoping to have a hot bath waiting for me when I get home, so I can relax while dinner is being prepared for me. After dinner I will provide a sensual massage for my fiancé.

But…In reality that's not going to happen.

Minh (35, married, engineer)
I don’t celebrate such pagan holidays. It is against my religion.

Marcus (25, actively searching, engineer)
Nothing planned, but hoping to pick up something desperate for love on Valentine's Day a bit later.

Wesly (26, dating, sales)
Oh shit, is it Valentine's Day - I'm f*&ked!

Pippy (27, something, engineer)
I am going to Kings Comics to buy a Kermit the Frog figurine I've had my eye on. Followed by a feast of Sushi and depending on how I feel perhaps a bit of Swing Music at Darling Harbour. Just a typical Thursday for me really :)

VD
That’s right friends. Today is VD! (or Valentine’s Day if you aren’t into the whole ‘breiferty’ thing).

What is the history of VD?
Many hundreds of years ago, the Romans practiced a pagan celebration in February commemorating young men’s rite of passage to the god Lupercus. The main highlight of the festival was a lottery where young men drew the names of teenage girls from a box. The girl he drew from the box became his sex-slave for the remainder of the year.

Right on, I hear all the guys say. But imagine if you pulled Roseanne Barr for the year…that is right not all Roman chicks are babes you know.

As you can imagine the civil libertarians and do-gooders of the time objected to such celebrations and decided (after trialing a few other ideas), to go with St Valentine’s Day instead.

So who the hell is Saint Valentine?
Valentine was beheaded by Emperor Claudius in AD270. Claudius decided that married men made crap soldiers so he banned marriage in an attempte to create a stronger army.

Valentine secretly married young men and women who were desperate to show their love and commitment for each other. When Claudius found out, he ordered that Valentine should be be-headed.

In a bizarre twist, Valentine (while on death-row) feel in love with Claudius's daughter who was blind, and as a parting gift Valentine cured her blindness. Before being taken to his death, he signed a farewell note that stated “From Your Valentine”.

The tradition began, hand written notes to the love of your life became popular. And as the male species evolved (and got lazier) independent bodies like Hallmark and Roses.com stepped in to help out by providing the perfect pre-packaged solutions of love.

This VD I recommend you do something a little different to impress your lover. Keep your head though; there is no need to prove your love with the same sort of enthusiasm as Valentine did.

Derwent’s Bad Habits
As Derwent rarely writes anything on the pages of Ramblings anymore I am taking the liberty of gossiping about him.

Derwent The Stunt Penis
Why the stunt penis? Well he feels it is an excellent way to bag all those porno women in exotic locations (like the producers backyard in Hollywood) and yet still remain anonymous. The perfect crime. You get paid to screw, and no one know. Gold.

I guess that will do for now…

Public Transport
For the first time in a long time I had the traumatic experience of having to catch Public Transport to work and I’m glad I don’t have to do it again for a while.

I began my trek this morning at 7.00am when I closed my front door and began walking to the closest railway station (Newtown). 30 minutes later I arrived at the station only to find the train had been delayed by 20 minutes and I was forced to wait on the platform with the other mind numbing commuters.

A young girl sat down next to me, so I offered her a smile and a good morning. Silly me, I thought it would be left at that – but no this girl babbled on for the whole 20 minutes about this and that, but nothing of any interest.

Approx. 7.50am the trained pulled into the station and I begin the trek out west. The train I selected didn’t actually go to my station (it is on a different line), so I had change trains along the way. Although the change was meant to be flawless – the second train was also delayed by 15 minutes and so another mind numbing wait on the platform.

A short Bus trip (about 15 minutes) from the station to work was then required. Well actually four blocks from work so a 15-minute walk.

All I can say is I’m glad it wasn’t raining.

Music to work to
I don’t mind listening to the odd tune at work. In fact I usually fit my headphones first thing in the morning and then remove them on my way out in the afternoon.

What I hate is: the people who insist on playing the same song, over and over, and over and over again through crappy PC speakers. Even if you start out liking the song and find yourself tapping along, there comes a time when you just can’t take it anymore.

Just do it.
Have you ever worked with a person who needs to know too much detail to complete a simple task? These people ask 400 questions about nothing, just to determine what it is you have already told them. Being an Engineer I work with these people everyday. Everything is scrutinised to the smallest detail and it is very, very annoying.

Today I lost it.
I forgot all work and social etiquette and told everyone to get f&*ked and just do it. “Stop asking me stupid f*&king questions, over and over again – prove to me you have a brain and just do it” I yelled.
As you can imagine, I’m not that popular at the moment. To hell with that!

Day Two
I have the flu, perhaps that is why I was feeling soooo bad over the weekend! So I spent the day on the couch talking life with my sister. Not sure if we actually worked anything out, but the fine company and conversation was excellent. Still not sure if I am feeling better though.

Presentation Night
Not sure what it is called in other countries in the world - in Australia at the end of every school year there is a Presentation Night (or Awards Night). On this night the most notable students are awarded with certificates, medals and scholarships for academic and sporting excellence. It normally goes for three hours, and it is darn boring. In an attempt to break the evening up the drama and music departments inject some talent.

One year, I think I was in Year 9, I happened to be a member of the Recorder Ensemble and we played a wonderful John Denver medely (covering all the favs, Annie's Song, Sunshine, Leaving on a Jet Plane). My chair was positioned at the front, right near the edge of the stage and in my excitement I managed to fall off the stage. I landed on my back with my legs in the air, tunic around my head and well I was flashing the entire school.

My Dad, who had been dragged along for the event, started to laugh really loud and clapping. He even stood up and yelled Encore. I think it was the funniest thing he had ever seen at a Presentation Night.

As you can imagine I was reminded of the event for the next few weeks, before we broke up for holidays. It just goes to show it always pays to leave the house with clean underwear on - as you never know what might happen.

Is the weekend over?
I can’t believe the weekend is over and I’m back at work. What an eventful weekend it was…I can’t say much of it was very good either.

Old Friends
An old friend from school arrived in Sydney Saturday afternoon on his way to a world adventure. I hadn’t seen this friend for years, so much had changed in both our lives and it was excellent to catch up.

I stupidly offered him a place to stay while waiting for his plane to fly to his adventure…and well now after two days I am so ready for him to be gone that I’m finding it difficult to be friendly. It isn’t that I don’t like the guy – I get the feeling that his prescences is upseting everyone. Maybe I have read too much into it.

This invitation has managed to upset almost everyone and for the first time in a long time I regret extending a friendly gesture to another. Harsh maybe, but the people in my life now are far more important to me than someone I haven’t seen for 8 years.

I hope the people in my life now know this.

Break-ups
A good friend of mine broke up with his partner this weekend. The break-up itself was very dramatic and my friend ended up in the hospital and received 3 stiches to the head. Terrible. Understandably, he isn’t feeling that great – but after the events of the weekend he is fairly confident he has made the right decision in moving on and away from this destructive force in his life.

Ever chased the end of a rainbow?
You can never find the pot of gold.
I’m starting to think that perhaps it is the same for me with love. Maybe I have got myself completely wrong – but I would describe myself as a giving, loving and slight crazy person – a girl with a zest for the moment. Someone who loves, like they have never been hurt and someone who loves to make others happy. Surely, that is something someone could love.

A work colleague (that doesn’t know me that well I may add), described me as:
“ A girl that guys date when they want a mate/friend with benefits – but I’m not the kind of girl someone could fall in love with”.

I’m not sure what that means…but it’s got me thinking.

Tomorrow
Kind of an intense weekend – but I’m sure tomorrow will be bigger and better. Just call me Suicidal McGloomy today.

Dynamic Duo
I would say that most people would describe their grandparents as sweet, cookie baking, hug warming gentle folk.

Well…the best way to describe my grandparents would be beer-swilling skanks that know how to party. (Before you get all huffy about my description, I actually mean this in the nicest possible way). With brutal honesty my Grandparents provided me with worldly wisdom and well just taught me to enjoy whatever hand life deals you.

Porno
You wouldn’t say my Pop is a dirty old man, but you would say he enjoys the odd porno.
Whilst in the video store a few months ago, he decided he would borrow a porno for his viewing pleasure later that night.

Not being able to see that well, he asked my sister to read the back editorial (he wanted a good one). My sister began to read out loud (he is kind of deaf as well – so it was pretty loud), Michelle finds out how tough it really is in the Army when she gets f&8ked by most of her Platoon. Michelle likes to take it all ways, so there is plenty of three way action, DP and hard arse f*&king. And on it went…

The surprising thing was about 4 other seniors had moved in a bit closer to hear about it, and one fellow even piped up to say he had already seen it – and it wasn’t that good.

All Arse
My Pop is 85 years of age; he doesn’t look a day over 82 though. Over the years he has provided me with many a chuckle with his antics. Here is just one.

Pop has arse problems, not sure what it is (and really don’t want to know), all I know is that he has arse problems. Twice a day he needs to insert some kind of ointment in his butt which provides him with relief and well gives him something to grumble about. The ointment comes in a smallish tube that has a long tip (the bit that is inserted in the arse).

Being an older man, he’s eye site isn’t that great – in fact it is pretty rotten.

The ointment is normally kept on the dresser, for easy access. On this fine day, my cousin caused my Pop a little bit of grief when he returned some super glue he had borrowed earlier that day. Instead of returning the super glue to its rightful place (a drawer under the bed), he placed it on the dresser (next to the arse ointment).

When the daily ritual of inserting the ointment in the arse came around, Pop picked the incorrect tube and managed to super glue his arse shut (as if you didn’t see that coming). In the process he managed to superglue his fingers to his butt, his shirt to his fingers his pants to the shirt and well it was just a big ole mess.

After much swearing and taking the lord’s name in vain – Pop was taken to the hospital where his fingers and arse were unstuck.

Yes, he still has arse problems today.